Stepping Out Of The ‘Should’ Syndrome

Have you ever realized how powerless you feel when you use the word “should” in a sentence?

Personally, any information followed by the words “I should” is a huge indicator to me that I am carrying out something that somebody else thinks I ought to do and adopting that idea as my own.

The next time you catch yourself using the word “should,” get real with yourself by taking my theory out for a test drive.

I want you to explore the true intent behind your words and your actions and get crystal clear about your reasons for doing what you do.

In the event that you start “should-ing” on yourself, use the following steps to liberate yourself from the opinions of others and reconnect with what you truly desire and want to bring forth in your life.

Get Honest With Yourself

Ask yourself if this idea that comes after “should” is something that you are actively choosing to do or something that you feel is being imposed on you by a force outside of yourself (mom, friend, society, etc.)? Your core feelings in that precise moment are a great indicator of your reasons for doing the things you think you should do.

Feelings of disempowerment, defeat and sadness generally indicate that
you are carrying out somebody else’s vision of how to move forward. Get super clear.

Challenge Your Motivation

If you learn that you are in fact doing what someone else is expecting of you
and not what you want or feel is in line with your highest good, challenge the thought and make a conscious decision that is in line with your personal values.

A good question to ask yourself would be “What is my reason for taking this action?” or “Is this decision in my best interest or in the best interest of someone else?

This awareness is key so that you can understand what the motivation truly is behind your actions.

Choose Empowering Language

If you learn that the words following “I should” are actually something that you authentically do want, change up your language so that it reflects your active participation in the idea. Other more empowering choices of words to replace “should” are “I choose/I could/I will….” This way you are reclaiming your power and indicating that you are a willing creator of your own choices.

More importantly, when you choose your actions with certainty, you are more likely to carry them out with an expression of confidence, ease and grace.

How we choose to perceive our ideas and thoughts is crucial. How we present them to ourselves and to the world however is the key.

By getting to the root of our purest desires, we will have the awareness to move confidently in the direction of our most authentic intentions.

Melody Pourmoradi is a women’s life and wellness coach at Life Evolutions Coaching. Check out to learn more.

Melody Pourmoradi
Melody Pourmoradi is a women’s wellness and lifestyle coach at Life Evolutions Coaching and a columnist for Long Island Weekly's Healthy Living Special Section. Learn more about her services at

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