Morning Routines: Hitting Pause To Connect With Your Partner

Our morning rituals are often sacred. Whether it’s getting up and enjoying a cup of coffee while sitting quietly in the kitchen, or dancing around in the shower belting out a favorite pop tune, the way we start our day matters. Our experiences in the morning often set the tone for the rest of the day. If we are too rushed, or miss out on an important part of our routine, it can make us feel out of sorts. Rituals have also been shown to reduce anxiety and increase confidence.

With a growing list of responsibilities as we get older, our morning routines may become more complicated and rushed. So, how can we be sure to devote some time to, and connect with, our partners? Below are some tips for connecting with your partner as you prepare for the workday ahead.


Spend time holding one another before you rush out of bed to begin your day. Enjoy the touch of your partner and savor the last few moments of peace and relaxation. If this requires you to hit the snooze button a couple of times, so be it (as long as you properly budget your time to make it into work when needed).


Take a moment to tell your partner the plan for your day. Is there an important meeting you have? Will you be heading to a function after work that you want to remind your partner about? Discuss what you are most looking forward to during your workday. Be careful not to unload or vent (unless it’s absolutely necessary). Keep the discussion positive, as this will set the mood for the rest of the day.


Save time to have a proper meal. You don’t know what the day will bring and you should be sure not to leave hungry. Incorporate cooking breakfast together into your morning ritual. If you are really pressed for time, have one person pour the cereal, while the other serves the coffee. No matter the meal, sit down together and enjoy what you prepared. In addition to breakfast, you may want to add preparing and packing lunch for one another into your routine. If making lunch for your partner, leave a sweet note as a surprise. It’s always nice to remind your partner that you’re thinking about him/her.

Do the chores

We often have chores that we need to accomplish before leaving for the day, such as clearing and cleaning the dishes or making the bed. Turn this into a joint activity. This helps you complete the chores in half the time and encourages teamwork between the two of you.

Have a meaningful goodbye

Before rushing off to the car or running to catch the subway/train/bus, be sure to have a meaningful goodbye. Tell your partner that you will miss him orher. This will end your morning together on a positive and loving note.

Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, is a psychology professor, relationship researcher and relationship coach. Learn more about Marisa at

Marisa T Cohen
Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, is a psychology professor, relationship researcher and relationship coach. Learn more about Marisa at

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